Our mind, body, and spirit work together. Your brain scans your whole system continuously, checking for what isn’t right. Once it finds something it cannot change, it circles that area. Every time it cycles, it can get stuck there.
We may develop physical symptoms. We may develop protectors, defenders, or other parts to keep the pain at bay. Those are survival responses. They may have helped at the time. As we grow, the system can keep sticking at that same place. The protective parts may still be a child, a young mom, or a helpless adolescent. We keep using a process that has been in place for years, even after we know it isn’t working.
I have lived this. I felt stuck before, during, and after my divorce. I felt abandoned, deeply sad, and alone. I felt like I had to be superwoman: take care of my sons, be a great teacher, keep my finances afloat. Failure was not an option. My emotions were a mix of a broken heart, fierce love, fear of failure, determination, and optimism that could disappear into despair. That was 20 years ago. When I am triggered, those thoughts, emotions, and tensions can still come up.
With my Brainspotting partner, I found that area and processed there. The emotions were as if it were happening now. I was guided to acknowledge the parts of me that took over and did a remarkable job. They kept me alive and moving forward. I also acknowledged the spiritual part of me that came forward: God’s love and protection. “I will never leave you or forsake you” still plays in my mind. My sons’ love, my father’s support, my mom in dreams and memory, friends and family, and other guides were there too. I could see darkness trying to move in, and also seeds of hope, joy, faith, and love.
I realized I don’t need to do that chapter over and over. My protective parts can stay vigilant and also rest. I have grown in these 20 years. I am strong, mature, and courageous. I am also vulnerable at times. When I need those parts again, their maturity can help more than the frightened parts of 20 years ago.
If you are going through a difficult time and would like guidance, I would love to talk with you. Book a free discovery session.